Champagne

by
Katie Thorn
       No one paid it much mind before. A water bottle is a water bottle. Until the day it is pointed out to look like a bottle of Champagne. Now, cradling it under your arm as you stumble through the door - late as always - you hit “clock in” and wonder, does the old man by the fireplace think you’re drunk already? It’s only eight in the morning, and all you’re carrying is room temperature water, but how is he to know?
Is it lowering your chances of nailing that job interview?
Does your date take one look at it and cross your name off the list?
You find a sticker - a cat in a scarf - and stick it to the shiny surface. Right where a wine label would sit. You scrape at the edges till your fingernails break and then give up, tossing it in the box marked “donate” sitting by the front door.
Hydration is overrated, anyway.